Discordian.com was created by the Church of No Dead Saints to further their purpose of creating Discordianism as the thinking prankster's religion. The Church believes that Discordianism will die without an influx of modern thought, semi-belief, and Erisian events. By creating this site with it's writings and ideas, St. Mae and the rest of the Church hope to revitalize Discordianism as an intense, throbbing centre of laughter, defiance, and lunacy. Discordian.com wants to help you dance on the altar of human sacrifice.
What is the Church of No Dead Saints?
"I don't know if I really believe in all the saints, she said, but I pray to them anyway. It makes every night feel more like a slumber party." --Brian Andreas
When River Phoenix died, people created newspaper memorials. When Kurt Cobain died, people flocked to his grave. When Felinni died, nobody noticed. Vincent VanGogh? Everyone thought he was a one-eared freak, until a century later. The same goes for most of our more famous artists today, without the ear bit.
The Church of No Dead Saints feels that something is wrong with a society that does not recognize contributions and merit from the realm of the living.
For this reason, we strive to cannonize as many people as we can, because we know that everyone performs at least three miracles a day.
*****************
Episkopos Pope Saint Mae Victoria the Red Sage, KSC is the current head of the Church of No Dead Saints in most of the Known World (the most recent Church head and leader of severe reform back in the '70s, Saint Tim the Cannonizer headed off into the wilds of Korea to preach Discordian gospel to the natives, and hasn't been heard from since).
Current Church catma states not only that "do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law", but that "wilted law makes a poor salad". We believe that, as Crowley said, "every man and woman is a star". We strive to cannonize those people we find who are making an extrordinary contribution to the world at large, their communities, or just to the happiness of their family and friends. Whether your art is something as traditional as painting, or something as sensual as giving really good head, we believe that miracles happen every day, and that many people are Saints.
The Catholic Church defines a Saint as someone who lived an extordinary life of piety, someone who was a little part of God. In order to be cannonized, you must be dead. After death, people must begin to pray to you for intercession with God. At least three of those prayers must be answered by miracles, and this must be proven. These are not miracles created by a living Saint-to-be - these must be miracles performed in response to the prayers of average living people after you're deceased. Your life and posessions must be catalogued, archived, annotated and stored. At least 7 years after your death, people may begin to campaign for your Sainthood. This is a long, expensive and arduous process.
Who is a Saint in the Church of No Dead Saints? People who make an effort to better their lives or the world around them are often Saints. In the Church of No Dead Saints, you don't have to be dead to perform miracles. A miracle can be as complex as physical healing, or as simple as a well-timed cup of hot chocolate. A miracle is something that irrevocably changes your life in a way you would not have thought possible by a simple act. The shuddering orgasm you evoke is as powerful a religious experience as anything frequently experienced in a church, if not moreso. A miracle brings a touch of the divine into ordinary life. That can mean a ritual shrine-building, a silly costumed prank, or just a really good hug.
Who is not a Saint? Dead people, for one. In most cases, they have lost their potential to inspire and amuse. (Excepting Emperor Norton, but he was a very special case.) People who try to bring others down are not Saints, whether they wish to bring themselves up by the comparison, or just think it's funny. (We are not talking about jokes and sarcasm.) People who don't see everyday life for the miracle that it can be are not Saints, because they do not really live in their bodies and their world.
Are you a Saint?
If you are interested in being cannonized by the Church of No Dead Saints, please send email to Saint Mae. Cannonizations are only done in person. Saint Mae is based in the Silicon Valley of California, but does extensive travelling (including international), so even if you're far away and never leave the house, you may have a chance.
The Church of No Dead Saints has cannonized many people. While they are all amazing and wonderful, you probably haven't heard of most of them (yet). Saint Mae has made only a couple of notably famous cannonizations:
Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!
How did this site come to be?
After a while of net.life, you begin to want your own domain name.
Saint Mae began to want her own domain name in the later part of 1998. Disliking painful and often embarassing personal home pages, she decided that if she was to get a domain, it had to be for *something* other than her sad little life, few friends, and silly hobbies.
Idly browsing through InterNIC one day, she noticed that Discordian.com was free. Could this be a mistake? But she looked a little later that day and indeed, Discordian.com was still free. Well, you can't just let an oppertunity like that pass by! At least, Saint Mae couldn't.
Saint Mae registered Discordian.com, put up a small website, and then promptly got distracted by three months of travelling, moving back to California on accident, and getting employed. By the time she was ready to work on it again, the site was already gathering dust.
Now, Saint Mae is a lot of things. Artist maybe, but graphic designer she is not. Realizing her lack of skills in this area, and most importantly, lack of time to acquire skills, she enlisted the help of Dr. Trent Reker who made most of the graphics for the new site. This new version of Discordian.com was released on Friday, October 13, 2000, night of the full moon.
The members of Discordian.com have helped Saint Mae out with writings. If you're interested in becomming one of their number, check out the membership requirements.